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  • Writer's pictureKesley Cage

Creating Space in Your Life

Updated: Nov 18, 2022

Daily rituals made of blocks of time as part of a routine are essential for someone whose emotional life has been dysregulated by adverse experiences. This means all the basics such as eating and sleeping at a regular time, and making the most of opportunities to do what nourishes your heart, mind, body and soul. As I've mentioned before, relaxation is a key to healing. It's important to recognise all the conditions that cue relaxation in your life, so you know how to access a relaxed state regularly. However, forgiveness for yourself and not getting overly stressed out when things don't go to plan is also needed.

Creating containers of time to relax and restore your energy can 'hold' you and give you a sense that there is safety and space in your life. These are appointments you may like to book in with yourself in your diary. For example, a gentle walk in the woods can play a part in regulating and balancing stress in your whole life system. Make time to do it, don't worry about re-negotiating with yourself, if you need to, however just make sure you turn up for yourself the majority of the time, and you'll find your life feels more spacious and nourished.

It is also possible to find spontenous micro-moments of relaxation throughout the day. For example, I enjoy flowers. When I look at the flowers that I arrange in a vase on my window sill, even for a few seconds, I appreciate their shape, texture and colour and I feel my body relax. You can create space for small moments like this, and longer daily practices such as mindfulness, that support you to tap into the peace and simple comforts that your body and mind need to heal everyday.

Many people say that they don't have time to meditate. Nonsense. All you have to do is stop and notice that you are alive, here, breathing and you can tap into peace, calm and happiness, and compassionately embrace your suffering. If you're unsure about how to do this, perhaps consider joining one of my mindfulness courses or booking a one-to-one with me. Meditation practice can be formally planned and informally unplanned. It can be 2 minutes of mindfulness while washing the dishes, a 10-minute deep relaxation on your lunch break, or better still, a regular session with yourself in the morning and/or evening that will support you to stay mindful throughout the day.

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